Confessions of the sensitive ME

What did I want in life just a good career, good house, stable finance and most importantly a healthy love life with no shadows of my past. Let me share some dirty details of my past well, I dated a guy who was very poor.

No it’s not what you think, I only meant poor with values and morals. Well coming from the top most rich family background all I heard from my family was stay away from roadside people and only to hang around in a gang of rich monkeys.Lol!! I had allergy towards rich boys always thought they are spoilt and would only want to be with a girl to have sex.

Well that’s me I was always in my own little space of some rubbish beliefs now I can say that. The reason to share my story is that today I am feeling free with absolutely no worries to get cheated or to lose anybody or even worried waking up with fear of troubled days. I went through rough relationship and today I am going to confess a few things nobody would want to hear

Hey Mr. Y I am not  sorry you always troubled me by looking at the rest of the girls in my presence and making it look like you are innocent sorry but I am clever and I have seen you all the time never wanted to tell you coz I was afraid of you leaving me ..

Hey Mr. Y I am not sorry for you abused the shit out of me and I got hurt terribly but never left you, I made efforts to be with you and forget of all the bad words you gave me even in the slightest argument we had coz I was afraid of you leaving me…

Hey Mr. Y I am not sorry for you dropped my pressure down by having sex with somebody in my absence and broke my trust and made me insecure about us. Cheating cannot just happen unknowingly right it’s like telling me “Baby I am sorry I accidentally had sex with someone”…I still did not leave you may be my tantrums were something out of control well isn’t that obvious how can I share you with someone and here it was like I am with a public man anybody could use for satisfaction still I did not leave you and tried to build our broken relationship coz I was afraid of you leaving me…

Hey Mr. Y I am not sorry for you not caring about me in my worst medical state and not being there for me when I needed you the most I understood that and gave you your space coz I was afraid of you leaving me…

Hey Mr. Y I am not sorry for you suddenly being a coward and telling me that you’re dumping me after all the mess you created in my life and having the audacity to come and tell me that this cannot work out. How much did I beg for us to be us how much did I want you with me all the time I dreamt of us together I dreamt of our life as one u got so ungrateful and asked me to just breakup? Suddenly you became so selfish talking about focusing on your career? Suddenly you remembered that our families would have a problem? Suddenly you realized that I have changed so much turning into an arrogant person coz of your doings?

Why are you forcing me in this relationship??  Said Mr. Y

Did you have at least little respect for me? Now I am saying this with all my heart  I was not with you for your looks coz you’re not that impressive I was not with you for money which you did not have I was not with you for fame I have more followers and contacts than you I was not with you coz I feel I would not get anybody I can show you a great battle of boys who want to be with me at this moment while I am typing I was not with you coz you were good at your profession coz when I said yes to you I hardly saw your work.

I was with you coz I genuinely loved you, I dreamt of you being mine forever where I had the rights to touch you and solely only I had the right to be in bed with you saw our future together and that why I was scared of losing that person of my fantasy I lived with you as him.

Reality is different you have given me blows on my heart I cannot imagine for doing nothing but wanting to be with you. I am not sorry and I am not afraid anymore …..