She broke down once again ...

It was just a few months that she was getting ready to accept new life and challenges that come along with it. She left her pain aside and now focusing on her new challenges she was facing in her day to day life. A day did not pass without thinking about him then what happened to dear God she prayed everyday for her happiness and only wish to heal her from all then pain given by him?

She went in search of every place where she could not remember him or any of his memories which would leave her in pain and tried to avoid contact with him because it only lead to temporary happiness and permanent damage.

"Please make sure if I happen to see him today you keep me strong not to fall for it again, I hope I have a great day ahead and none of his memories bring me pain. Please make me strong, please." she prayed everyday on the same lines.

After five months he decided to talk to her in an accident at the shop; he told her she looked pretty and he would never let go off her. She did not understand how to react she was lost and wanted to escape the moment,"Gosh did that just happened? If it did does that mean he realizes my worth in his life after going to someone else? Does he want me back and if he does then does he deserve that chance? What about the times he hurt me? What about the days when I was alone and nobody was there to take care of me and I did that all alone by myself? Did I do a mistake stopping by? Can I trust what just happened and his urge to meet me? So many questions troubled me after meeting him that day... Why my drive was so troubled to work that day? Once again all this was washing through my eyes and I was left speechless again...

So finally I did not meet him, I was busy and had no courage to face this again, what would I do then? Ask him those questions which left me numb for a longtime and he was on a great holiday moment while I was in pain.

I met him next day he cried he wants me back and what could I do with that? I remembered how much I begged him not to leave me, shall I do the same? But I love him my inner voice said...

I gave him a chance, I decided let this happen if he really wants me bad. Things were a little different his touch was not that magical anymore.

I began to rethink I still had time to leave, but emotions in mind were not letting me...

I said to myself it’s time to just decide to be with him again. I said yes to him let’s do it. We had a great weekend I traveled for him again like old times and spent a good holiday shopping ,eating and just being in his arms.

When I traveled back alone to hometown and 2 days past with my work schedule still intact I met a few friends who discussed how badly I was dumped over I also got added information what an asshole he could be to sleep around with every women and I had no f#$%*&g idea.

I lost my thinking capacity and left home immediately to add to it this kinky bitch he was last seeing has a conversation that she was still in contact with him. I fired him ,I fired her and left this relationship once again.

Having said that now once again I feel disturbed and I cannot concentrate on anything and I want to hold him and kiss him and have him around me but I cannot trust him and this has broken me down…